Recovery is a new way of life for everyone involved. It means making healthy life choices, trying out new things, and working on mental and physical health issues. Learning to trust takes patience and time. It is not a one-size-fits-all approach, nor is it something that can happen overnight. Most people in recovery struggle with this but it is healthy to wrestle with ways to learn how to trust oneself and others.
Leave the Past Behind
Easier said than done, but the past is in the past. There is no going back. Carrying the weight of combat in veterans, the weight of pain, and suffering from others in first responders can only lead to more heartache and pain down the road. With increased self-confidence, it helps to learn how to make decisions a little easier. Assessing what is holding a person back from success helps when looking at why the past was challenging and what to take into the future and what to leave behind. Build on positive successes rather than focus on past failures.
See Successful Milestones
Jumping into recovery from addiction can bring lots of positive and negative feelings to the surface all at once. People either are all excited and want to do everything or they are scared and unsure of how to proceed. The best thing to do is to embrace the work of recovery slowly and proceed with caution. One achievement leads to another. Successful building blocks mean looking at each victory as a successful milestone. It can be anything from a meaningful conversation about sobriety to meeting new people and seeing how this translates into positive help moving forward.
Overcoming cravings, not getting triggered by the same things, and moving ahead in life can be great but it can also be a challenge. In whatever way a person defines success, they should make note of it and look for ways to use this as a means of building trust in oneself and their own abilities. Trust is not just about honesty, it is also about learning to do the right thing for oneself.
Stigma is no joke. It can derail recovery if people don’t ask for help when they need it. Recovery is hard enough. Don’t be afraid to step out in faith and ask for help from those who are around. Open lines of communication at home more. Speak to a sponsor. Reach out to others who seem to understand. The opportunity to do great things is right in front of people but they stop themselves because they don’t trust their instinct to reach out. Give time and space. It may be easier than you feel, but don’t think whether it is easier or harder right now. The advice you receive is important but also learning to trust oneself to ask for what is needed is key.
Nothing ever happens sitting around. Get moving forward one step at a time. Self-trust only happens by building confidence in doing. It may not seem like much but self-doubt can harm people’s ability to move forward. Actions may not have been trustworthy in the past but they are now. Make conscious decisions to learn how to trust others and let others in, as well. Get moving in a forward direction with trust. Don’t let it put a stop to everything.
Some people are good at making decisions while others are not able to. Recovery is a lifesaver for many because it identifies the places they are needing the most help. Some goals that were helpful to look at five years ago are not helpful now. Recovery highlights all the areas that need work. Think of some goals to include in the long term.
Find opportunities and many will be short and long term goals. Once a handful of goals is identified, start to prioritize. Accomplish goals as markers of success to add trust. It is a process of building trust over time. It is good to include others. This is an important step in recovery and it should be the first priority.
When Trust Returns
Recovery is difficult but there are times when trust cannot be restored easily. Either with oneself or others, it is hard to regain the trust lost. Learning how to build trust with oneself and others can take a toll. The fact that a person has many options and has to make a decision is evidence that trust is restarting. Looking around at available options, weighing them out, and asking for advice on how to proceed means you are seeking new territory. It takes time to get here. It takes time to move towards action.
People may not trust you because they have a hard time trusting your instincts and abilities since you may not have been trustworthy under addiction. There are hope and healing available. It comes in the form of asking forgiveness from others and offering it to oneself. Build up a trust if you want to keep working on this over time.
Trust in Yourself
You are the one doing the work in recovery. Even with the help of others, you have the power to make positive changes and move forward. Take things one day at a time. See the positive side of the situation and don’t linger on old thoughts or feelings. People may not be ready to forgive and move on. They may not be ready to forgive you but be ready to forgive yourself and offer it to them, when and if they become ready.
June 23, 2023
6 mins read